remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
