she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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