i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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