it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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