And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
