You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
only if we run a train.
done.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
