It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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