well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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