i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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