i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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