he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
