My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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