Is it because I queefed?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
