Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
