We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
