hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
