I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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