I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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