evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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