I want to make a zoo with you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
