Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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