I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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