Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
