he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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