Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
