i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
