any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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