Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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