Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
