Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize