A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
