She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
