tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He passed out mid-signature
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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