Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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