tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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