You can't special order awesome
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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