Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
