Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
