Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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