Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
