how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
