Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just want to make out with him forever
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
