ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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