so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
