OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
