I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
