I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
