so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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