I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
