Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it because I queefed?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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