It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
