Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
