They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
